VIOLATION!

So, the new parking system at work has been remarkably awesome. I mean, I see a couple of cars nearly every day parking in the permit area without a permit, but really, it's been awfully sweet.

Unfortunately, I've only seen one of these bad boys. And I never did find out what happened to the car.

The funny thing is, I tried to take a picture of a car with a stick similar to this in the parking ramp after I left the gym tonight. Except it was on the car's back, driver's side ... quarter panel? It was yellow and smaller, too. Alas, the photo was blurry. 

Making the most out of their last opportunity.

Today was the last day of asshole parking at our office building. Didn't seem like anyone was really trying to get a jump start on the new rules today. Take these jackasses, for example:

I mean, I guess I could see that there was a little bit of a change. When I went into the ramp this morning, there was only one car parked where the two cars in the picture above are parked. It's those two cars and two more behind them, and the same thing on the rows you would see if you had been in my car looking out the passenger window.

That's eight cars each day that are going to need to find somewhere else to park every day. I'm concerned it's going to be an epic clusterfuck tomorrow. I should really have just planned to work from home. Then again, I'm working a half day and should be showing up at least a bit earlier than I normally do.

None of us at the office can really see how this new situation is going to work out, but ... well, I guess all I can do is show up and see what happens, right?

My goldmine might be ending.

As of November 1, the management company that runs our office building will have new parking procedures. We all got parking permits on Friday. I really hope I remember to use mine. Given my obsession with people parking like assholes, though, it shouldn't be all that tough to remember.

There will allegedly be more permit spots than permits, so we should never have to worry that we will have no option, since our overflow lot is gone. They will allegedly be tough on parking scofflaws, with a towing company patrolling the lots/ramps to haul away the following:

So that means douches like these people, parking in the fire lanes, will get their asses towed. I wonder if they're going to ease into it, or just tow the fuck out of all the idiots who think the rules do not apply to them.

I wonder how they'll deal with asshats like the the guy in the picture below. He's not taking up two spots in the traditional sense. He's clearly in his spot properly. However, he has parked his big-ass motherfucking truck in a "compact only" space, which means no one can park in that other "compact only" spot.

It's too bad I'm only working a half day on Tuesday. I was considering just taking a lawn chair out to watch all of the towing.

Repeat offender.

There is an especially dickish parking-in-a-non-parking-spot repeat offender at the office building. This particular fuckstick has been at it for at least a couple of weeks. There have been occasions where I wonder if it is indeed the same car. Then I realized I had all these pictures with the license plate in them ... mystery solved.

This picture is from Friday.

This picture is from October 20.

In this post from October 18, I complained about the Malibu douche parking crooked in the fire lane.

I'm going to need to get a new wireless router.

Because if this shit is starting now, the rest of the year is going to be a nightmare.

Might as well park crooked if you're going to park in a spot that isn't a parking spot.

Can't help but feel I'm missing a post out there ...

E-mail from the management company:

Subject: URGENT!!!! Vehicle Needs To Be Moved Immediately!

The following vehicle needs to be moved immediately:

Silver Volkswagen Jetta

License Plate:  9XX XXX

It is parked on the 2^nd level of the 2 level ramp in the back of the property, South side.

Thank you!

My guess is they have someone blocked in because THEY ARE CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT. And of course, if you get here after all the parking is gone, blocking someone who arrived to the office far earlier than you did surely wouldn't mean they'd want to leave work before you.

Christ. It's only October. The next couple of months here are going to be a nightmare, parking-wise. Probably a nightmare other-things-wise, too. Yay.

A lack of snow won't stop them.

The people at work just can't stop parking poorly, snow or not. Take this Rock Star, parking his or her Ford ... Fusion or Focus, I can't remember, in two spots:

I'm not sure how long it went on, but a day or two after I noticed the jerkwad above, I saw this:

Too bad, sucker. Now your fancy Ford could get a door ding. Or you'll not feel like a baller or whatever the fuck it was that made you do something so dumb.

Getting them in early.

I was only at work for about 45 minutes this morning. I had to come back home because I couldn't open the files I worked on all weekend and then sent in a zip file to my work e-mail. AWESOME.

But just because I was only there for a bit didn't mean I couldn't find an asshole parking like a douchebag. It was inevitable, what with the foot-plus of snow that fell Sunday and Monday. Of course, even if you could see some of the lines indicating this was not a parking spot, this fine citizen said, "Fuck it. I'm parking there."

Backlog of work parking douches.

They are generally repeat offenders, too. The worst of them all is this jerk.

Here he or she is on another day.

Then there's this assbag, who clearly needs to take up two spots. I mean, god forbid someone ding your sweet-ass minivan!

Finally, there is this dude, who I'm pretty sure has been featured here in the few weeks we've been in existence. There's something of a happy ending here, though. I took this picture when I got into the office around 9:00. I had no problem getting a parking spot in the ramp. There was an entire floor available, for fuck's sake. But this douche needed to create a spot that was all his own. I came out of a meeting three hours later and my coworker pointed out that there was a note on his window. It was on very brightly colored paper -- the guy came out while we were watching and he didn't remove it. He took a picture of it and moved his car into an actual parking spot. Of course, he couldn't park properly in that spot. He was all angled and shit. Seriously, dude? What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not sure what happened to him. He moved the car while I wasn't paying attention. Shitass motherfucker.

My office complex is a goldmine of parking douchecanoes.

When I first mentioned the idea for this blog, I nearly said, "Between work and the gym, I've got three posts a day." I probably meant to exaggerate a bit, but it's turning out to be almost true. The gym has been okay this week, but as soon as we get some snow, I bet that will change.

Work, though, has proved to be exactly what I figured it would be. I left late today, but still managed to catch this asshat, parking in a non-parking spot. What do you think those extra white lines mean?

As it turns out, this winner at life was back in his or her spot again today, but when I left work it was a whopping 0 degrees with a windchill in the neighborhood of -something. It's -19 right now. So, I didn't want to take my mitten off and roll down my window. But it's supposed to warm up later this week, so I'm sure I'll catch him or her again.

A two-for-one, how delightful.

I'm sure you're as shocked as I am that I'd find more people parking like assholes at work. I came home from the office and have been working since, so I'm really not up to much commentary, aside from "These people suck big, hairy donkey balls."

Douche No. 1, parking in a spot he or she made up. It's actually in the driving lane, because, people certainly don't need space to maneuver their cars with all that snow, or anything. Dick.

Douche No. 2, parking in the same spot as a previous offender.

This is the douche that drove me to starting this blog.

At least, I'm pretty sure this is the douche. I'd say at least once a week I see this jackass parking in the same spot, but sometimes on the third floor of the ramp as opposed to the second. 

This spot doesn't have nearly as much snow over it as the previous entry does. So, there is even less of an excuse. But there is no excuse for even the previous dickface.

Sorry for the blurry pictures. I was heading to my car to head home and I was kind of in a hurry. 

That didn't take long.

The morning after I created the blog, I got my first entry. Hooray?

I took this photo on my way from the parking ramp into the office where I work in Bloomington. I considered taking a photo of the smokers standing within inches of the sign that says "Smoking prohibited within 25 feet of building entrances," but "This isn't the smoking section, assholes," is another blog entirely.

How do you like my sweet artwork, blacking out the license plate number? I'm talented, yo!

This is a perfect example of people apparently thinking that since the lines indicating that is not a parking spot aren't fully visible, they have every right to park in front of (and quite frankly on top of) the sidewalk where the rest of us have to walk to get into our offices.

Congratulations, black Pathfinder driver. You are the first entry in That's not a parking spot, asshole. You suck.