Busted.

As if going to the gym wasn't bad enough, I came across this douche parking like an asshole before he'd left his car. I strongly considered gently pointing out to him that he was parking it two spots (and I know he went the wrong way in the ramp to get into the spot ... call it woman's intuition). However, he was talking to himself and seemed like a bit of a crazy person, so I decided it wasn't a great idea.

Turns out he was just some douchey meathead who apparently goes to the gym. Awesome.

At least it's not in a handicapped spot?

Last week, I snapped the pictures below on my way into the gym. I was off work, so it was probably late morning. I could check to see which day it was, but shit -- that I'm posting this at all should really be enough, don't you think?

The funny? thing is, the car is parked illegally in a non-parking spot, next to a handicapped spot. And possibly partially in the handicapped spot. So, thanks for trying?

Nice parking job, asshole.

A post that directly involves me. When I came out of the gym this morning, I saw the following sight in the parking ramp.

That's my car, Lady Penelope, on the right (I'd dubbed her "Barbie" before I got her, 'cause she's a gold Malibu, which reminded me of my Malibu Barbie ... get it? Didn't feel right as a name once I got her, though). I couldn't even get in to open it up and put my gym bag in the back seat. I was so fucking pissed. I had to climb across from the passenger side. 

Now, maybe it wasn't fully this dickface's fault. This is the car on the other side of the fuckstick who made me get in the passenger side: 

Dickface Fuckstick Cheesehead left plenty of room for him or herself to get out, which led to the situation that left me irate. You could have just left that space open. I honestly was unsure if I could get out without hitting that car. I had to check to make sure that douchenozzle didn't hit my car on the way into the spot. But no, this asshat had to park in a prime spot because he or she is probably a lazy fuck. I almost didn't park there because I have this weird thing about wanting to be parked so I'm on the way out of wherever I am. So at the Calhoun Square ramp, I like to park on the third floor so I don't have to go up any more to get out. I often like to park on the far side of the third floor, so I'm already pointing down. I'm weird, I know. But it was so early today and the ramp was so empty, I figured "Why not?" And I paid for that.

Before I crawled across from the passenger side, I wrote a note and stuck it under that fuckface's windshield (it says, "Nice parking job, asshole). I also may have opened my door really hard when I got into the driver's seat. I'm not sure I even left a mark, though. Poop.

Calhoun Square.

I often work out at the LA Fitness in Calhoun Square in Uptown Minneapolis. Usually, the people pissing me off there are driving slow or waiting FOREVER for a parking spot or just blocking traffic for no good reason. However, there have been a few especially egregious asshole parking examples.

On the third floor of the ramp, there's a space marked with two bright orange "No Parking Between Signs" placards. Those signs are there to leave an opening so people don't have to go all the way to the top of the ramp to turn around and exit. There was a day not that long ago where not one, but two people (actually three -- when I came back from my workout, a new car had replaced one of the previous asshole parkers), ignored those signs and the "exit" with an arrow sign and parked wherever they damn well pleased because they are clearly BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

The yellow sign has the "EXIT" message on the other side.

Note that there isn't a parking sign marking on the floor there, either. But that doesn't matter, because red car person is IMPORTANT. Or lazy.

But that's not all! There was this dick face on another day. Yeah, that's how you do it, fuckstick.

Iowans at Rainbow Foods.

Look, I know some of the parking spaces at Rainbow in Uptown are a bit wonky, but not so wonky as to cause someone to do this?

Maybe you need a better angle to see just how badly this douchecanoe parked? Done.

Saturday parking jerks.

I unfortunately had to go to the mall today. But the trip gave me a chance to catch an asshole in the Southdale lot, outside of Macy's. How do you not know you parked like this? What makes you think you should leave your ass end hanging out into the driving lane? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Fucking rich-ass, entitled motherfuckers thinking they're better than everyone else (it's a Mercedes, y'all).

The view as I came back to my properly parked car:

Later, I was walking home from a visit to Uptown. I went to Penzeys for some herbs, almond extract and dutch process cocoa. Then I met my friend, Law Talkin' Gal at MAC so I could buy a buttload of new makeup. We then went to the Independent for a little happy hour. I hit Rainbow for some additional baking supplies (might get snowed in tomorrow and I need something to do if that happens), and when I was close to home, I came across this (blurry, horrible picture -- apologies, but I had a heavy grocery bag and it was fucking cold): two vehicles not in parking spots, and one of them blocking the goddamn sidewalk. It was less trouble getting around that shitty Suzuki Sidekick, though, than it was crossing the several glare ice sections of sidewalk on the walk home.