I'm going to need to get a new wireless router.

Because if this shit is starting now, the rest of the year is going to be a nightmare.

Might as well park crooked if you're going to park in a spot that isn't a parking spot.

Can't help but feel I'm missing a post out there ...

E-mail from the management company:

Subject: URGENT!!!! Vehicle Needs To Be Moved Immediately!

The following vehicle needs to be moved immediately:

Silver Volkswagen Jetta

License Plate:  9XX XXX

It is parked on the 2^nd level of the 2 level ramp in the back of the property, South side.

Thank you!

My guess is they have someone blocked in because THEY ARE CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT. And of course, if you get here after all the parking is gone, blocking someone who arrived to the office far earlier than you did surely wouldn't mean they'd want to leave work before you.

Christ. It's only October. The next couple of months here are going to be a nightmare, parking-wise. Probably a nightmare other-things-wise, too. Yay.

That's clearly legal.

Last night, The Boy I Currently Like and I were going to pick up our dinner from Lulu's. On our way into the deli, we saw this delight. I took the pictures on the way back to the car, though.

You will note in the photo above that the car is parked going the wrong direction, very far away from the curb and halfway into the driveway.

Seriously, dude. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. (Close-up view.)

Don't think my absence means there aren't assholes out there.

Terribly sorry for being away for so long. I've got a few pictures from the past few months that I need to post, and I will be doing so shortly.

The parking situation at the office is getting worse and worse every day, but I've not had a great opportunity to get good pictures. I'll be working on that.

In the mean time ...

What is it with Southdale?

Okay, so it's the mall I frequent most often (despite working across the street from the Mall of America ... I only go there if I must or if the planets align for a quick trip when it likely won't be busy). That's probably the reason for my seeing jerk parkers there so often.

Last weekend, I saw this car:

How do you not realize you've parked half a car length out into the driving lane? You see the car next to you. You must see where you are when you exit the car and walk to the mall. I mean how can anyone be that oblivious?

If your depth perception is that bad, I'm guessing you shouldn't be driving. Yet, here you are, fucking shit up for the rest of us.

I really need to get those stickers made.

"It's a flippin' mini"

Oh my God, another submission! This one comes from James (or, at least that's what his e-mail says). James says, "Really? At the Good Samaritan Society  National Campus in Sioux Falls and she's a manager." 

There are a lot of things wrong here. First is James's salient point -- it's a Mini. It's a tiny car. You can't part it in a proper parking spot? 


If I was a generous person, I'd note that the old parking spot lines are kinda visible and hey -- maybe she got confused. But those old lines are barely visible and the new lines are super clear. If I was still being generous, I'd note that the minivan (and obviously the other cars, too) are not parked properly. That, however, is not really so much being generous to the Mini driver as it is an indictment of all the other people who cannot properly park their cars. 


This lot is pretty much and epic parking FAIL all around. 


Thanks James! 

A two-for-one, how delightful.

I'm sure you're as shocked as I am that I'd find more people parking like assholes at work. I came home from the office and have been working since, so I'm really not up to much commentary, aside from "These people suck big, hairy donkey balls."

Douche No. 1, parking in a spot he or she made up. It's actually in the driving lane, because, people certainly don't need space to maneuver their cars with all that snow, or anything. Dick.

Douche No. 2, parking in the same spot as a previous offender.

It's our first submission!

This submission comes from our friend Darrell (I'm really enjoying using the royal we, for some reason). His story: 


I took the picture November 2009 in the parking lot across the street from the MOA (Mall of America) parking ramp, it was really busy that day so parking was a nightmare (Black friday maybe) I was walking towards the mall and saw this D-bag taking 2 spots in the front row so his Mustang didn't get dinged. Everybody walking past his car had to do a double take when they saw that!


And here's your asshole:

Nice work, jackass. And thanks for the contribution, Darrell! 

This is the douche that drove me to starting this blog.

At least, I'm pretty sure this is the douche. I'd say at least once a week I see this jackass parking in the same spot, but sometimes on the third floor of the ramp as opposed to the second. 

This spot doesn't have nearly as much snow over it as the previous entry does. So, there is even less of an excuse. But there is no excuse for even the previous dickface.

Sorry for the blurry pictures. I was heading to my car to head home and I was kind of in a hurry. 

It's winter in Minneapolis, and that means people are parking like assholes.

Or, parking like assholes slightly more than they usually do on any given day. It's like these inconsiderate jerk drivers think that since there's some snow on the ground and parking lines aren't perfectly clear, they can park where they want, other people and traffic flow be damned.

I hope this can be a place for you to submit pictures of people parking like assholes, to get some tiny manner of revenge and relief from the stress they cause you.